Understanding what you’re feeling and why you are feeling that way.
Have you ever been perplexed by an emotion that you’ve had? I remember crying like a baby when I entered my old house that was soon to be demolished. I was building a new house on the same land so the old house had to be demolished. One weekend my son and his friends had begun the destruction process unbeknownst to me. When I walked in and saw this, I cried. You must know, I am not an emotional person, in fact, I have delayed reactions 100% of the time. This means I cry 2-3 days later at funerals, or when something tragic has happened. So I was surprised with the massive crying I was expressing when I entered the house.
Emotions begin as the values we learn to place on our sensory experience, our likes and dislikes.
Of course, I had lived in the house for about 18 years at the time, so I had a lot of sentimental value attached to that house. I didn’t realize how much value that old house meant to me until I saw the first signs of destruction of it. It was an emotional tug that went back 18 years, so my tears, or rather wails, were coming from18 years of raising three children in that house, no wonder I could not control myself that day.
The conditions surrounding our pleasant and unpleasant sensations give rise to our ability to recognize and express our emotional preferences
My usual way of being of having delayed emotions were trumped this time because I walked in and I saw 18 years of memories being shattered even before the wrecking ball touched the house. I’m glad I cried, imagine if I would have kept it all bottled up. By crying that day over an old house I released that emotion which then let me be open to the new house and new memories ahead.
Building Emotional Self Awareness
- Say to yourself “I feel____________, because________”
- We have to regularly check in and take our emotional pulse and then, when appropriate, we may want or need to share what we have discovered with the other people around us.